Deep water
Good morning. I do hope you are well.
It is a Monday in my world. The beginning of another week of good intentions and fresh ideas. Mondays are blogging days, bed-changing days and clean window days. They are days of attacking the ‘to do’ list in my mind and trying to tick off important, week-changing, family-enhancing items. Such as:
Create wholesome soup. (Check.)
Sort teetering pile of clean washing. (Yeah ok… I haven’t done this.)
Write blog. (*buffering)
There is a ‘starting on Monday’ mentality sluggishly but defiantly taking up residence in most of us. However, Monday comes round with alarming regularity. Soon we can hear a ‘Next monday’ call begin. “I will start when….”
Squatting in discomfort many of us are sitting on the spring of our potential and forcing it not to bounce up. The truth is, we often wait to action something we KNOW we should do or could do. Why? Because we are afraid.
We are afraid that people will not like what we say or that they will not hear it the way we want it heard. We are afraid it will be misunderstood, or much, much worse, that it will fail, or actually not ever be noticed at all.
We wait until ‘Monday’, or when we might have the qualification, or the confirmation from someone, or the money, or the time, or the expertise. We delete. We edit. We fuss. We rant. We delete again. All very wise in its way… but sometimes we need to just grab life.
Years ago, I realised that a VERY BAD thing for me to do was analyse who was reading my blog. All very interesting to see that two (separate) people in the wilds of Shropshire had just inexplicably started it and all that… but actually it took me away from just writing.
I made an active decision 6 years ago not to bother who read my work. My Google analytics thingy-ma-jig remains untouched to this day. And I have been much happier ever since. I have written in the quiet knowledge that I write primarily for myself and for God. Any one else who reads it, is, quite frankly, a boon.
I am a writer because I need to write. You are a reader because you need to read. But if I start to write because you need to read, you will no longer want to read what I write. And we will have no end of endings.
What is good writing?
Paddling in the shallows means we don’t have to change clothes. Hoisting up our jeggings doesn’t count as going into deep water. Not really. Deep water is shocking, cold, wet, uncomfortable and ultimately refreshingly exhilarating. It requires a full change of clothes and a soft, warm towel. This is what good writing can do for us and others.
“NEW” things can start at any time. The blessings of freshness can surprise us and bless us when we let God lead us into deeper waters. For some of you out there, MORE is coming. You need to position yourself to SWIM.
Why do I blog?
For me, posting and writing is something of a deliberate and controlled opening of a valve – an escape for the emotions, thoughts and ideologies that would otherwise puff me up and make me unbearably rigid and hard. It is my way of (hopefully) remaining both gentle and measured. But it is also so much more.
My own journey with blogging began as the dawning realisation that I had something worth recording on screen and something worth sharing. I suddenly woke up one morning and realised that people were listening when I said something. Even I wasn’t doing that! I began to see that people were relying on me to be real. To model what it meant to be a mum, wife, entrepreneur, writer, baker and a few other things in real time, with real problems and with real biblical techniques of overcoming. To live the sort of life that was constant and giving but also raw and genuine.
A few weeks ago I went on a retreat at Westwood Christian Centre – my place of choice for quiet days. Whilst I was there, I heard God tell me very clearly and simply, more about my leadership. He said this, which I think is both eminently bloggable and also wonderfully straight forward.
“The most important person I am asking you to lead is yourself.”
I liked that. And I found it hard.
I am actually a pretty tough person to lead. I rebel. I ask questions. I change my mind. I work through things. I debate ideas with myself. I am a deep thinker. So leading me is a challenge! But I think what I am learning in this season is how to be CONSISTENT. Consistent in the face of change. Consistent when I have less that others. Consistent.
Each week for the past 5, a new person in my circle has begun to realise that rather than just consume other people’s visions and run with them, they are put on the planet to inspire, breathe life and lead. In short, I am delighted that more of my friends are beginning the joyfulness of THE BLOG.
For all the new blogirls out there, I urge you to keep going. Remember that you have a place in the web. You have a word worth sharing. You will have some days when your work will be celebrated and shared and many more when the only person to read it will be you. But it will still be worth the screen it is typed on and seen as precious by the creator of your souls. And in the words of a loveably forgetful fish, “Just keep swimming.”