Being still at Christmas
Christmas has always been a joyful time for me. As a child it was dominated by my hilarious Grandmother who loudly shouted every year things like, “Have you opened your Pyjamas yet?” Her presents may as well have been wrapped in cling film – because she always told you what they were as he handed them to you! Think of her as a mixture of Hyacinth bouquet, Cybil Fawlty and Julie Walters. But a bit more northern.
My mum once said that a fitting epitaph for Gran would have been “she meant well.”
Now I loved her and she loved me but there were times when she called a spade a spade.
As she got older, as sometimes happens, Grandma’s memory started to go… and with it left the small amount of tact she had been born with.
I’m painting her in a bad light… please understand that she was a wonderful woman and I miss her every day. But she spoke her mind!
One Christmas I was thrilled because, I’d saved up some singing money and I had bought myself a green dress and matching satin green high-heeled shoes. She looked me up and down.
“Darling. Aren’t those shoes very risqué… and its funny, because heels are normally slimming.”
Later on that evening I bought out some mince pies I had made…but they weren’t normal ones, they were swirls of puff pastry with cloves and orange zest. Grandma took a bite out of one and then literally scraped if off her tongue and looked like she was going to vomit.
“What is in this?” She demanded, putting the offending soggy pastry back on the dish. “Oh sorry Gran, don’t you like it? They are Nigella.” I said.
“Nigella?” she cried still spitting into her napkin. “ Is that a sort of soap?”
Christmas presents us with many challenges doesn’t it? Do we overspend, overeat, or overbuy?
Many of us can end up buying presents for people we don’t like with money we don’t have and then paying dearly for it afterwards. Our tables groan, our tummies groan and our bank balance groans too.
So, is there an alternative. I really think there is. I think Mary teaches us that very well.
A couple of years ago I was privileged to be taught by the lovely Ann Rouse, mum of one of my best friends, Lucy Smith, how to make an advent wreath. It was a reminder to take things slowly over Christmas – to light a candle each day at tea time and let things calm down for a while. I really valued that wreath and loved having it lit on the kitchen table each day.
If we aren’t careful, even for those of us who say we are Christians, the Christmas period can go by in a stressful kind of rush and we can feel total exhaustion, resentment and anxiety, rather than joy.
But Mary offers us a simple example. She stopped still. She stopped still and stayed in the light. She stopped still and let the shepherds come. She stopped still and swaddled her baby. She stopped still and allowed the wise men in. She stopped still holding each strange present in her hand. She stopped still and pondered all that God had done in her, through her and around her. She allowed herself to feel the wonder.
It is wise to stop sometimes isn’t it?
It is wise to let ourselves come to a halt rather than be reduced to a crashing one by illness, fatigue or pressure.
I think Mary teaches us beautifully not to be clean and presentable at Christmas, but to be content with what we already have. I think she teaches us to be calm in the midst of confusion or fear. I think she teaches us acceptance of what God has planned for us.
Do you remember when the angel first visited her to tell her she would have a child. Her response was ‘let it be to me according to your word.” In other words, ‘bring it on. I will be ready.”
All those years ago, I wanted to be Mary in the Christmas play because I wanted to wear the blue dress and hold the doll.
But I only got to be the narrator.
Now I am a story teller.
I am always telling people the stories of Jesus. This is what I do.
Each of us have the chance to narrate Mary’s story this year to ourselves, our families and our children.
We get the precious opportunity to tell them what it must have been like to be a 12 year old mum with a tiny baby in a far off land with 3 presents that made no sense.
We get to be the narrator of this wonderful amazing story.
Our church (Ivy in Manchester, UK) writes home group material and last weeks it said: “The season of Advent means there is something on the horizon the likes of which we have never seen before….What is possible is to not see it, to miss it, to turn just as it brushes past you. And you begin to grasp what it was you missed … So stay. Sit. Linger. Tarry. Ponder. Wait. Behold. Wonder. There will be time enough for running. For rushing. For worrying. For pushing. For now, stay. Wait. Something new is on the horizon.”
Listen to this beautiful song and just be still for a while.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKSU9Dbxvrw
In every nativity set I have ever owned I have always placed Mary nearest to Jesus. She always faces him, looking directly at him.
What about you?
If I asked you what you are facing right now maybe it would make you cry to tell me. Perhaps it is grief or loss. Maybe it is illness or financial crisis. Perhaps it is job problems or some other kind of difficulty. Can I invite you now, whatever is going on in your world to turn to the manger and look. Stop and be still and wonder again about a child born for you.
If you asked me what I wanted for Christmas, what I wanted to find in my stocking this year it would be an attitude. Not a physical gift but a spiritual awareness. I would ask the Lord to give me the ability to look at Him and be still this Christmas.
I don’t want to miss Him in the waiting.
