Today I am going to look at a taboo subject :affection. Now you may wonder why I think this is so taboo.
Well, let me ask you something. How comfortable are you if a single man you don’t know that well in church picks up your child and gives them a cuddle?
Not very, is the answer.
Affection is something that as a society we have all but lost because of fear, child protection issues and our new desire/ tendancy to live independently of others.

A very close friend of mine came out of children’s ministry because he was terrified that people would think it was weird that he was an older man with grown up children wanting to do creche. He thought that people would think he had a problem. How sad and terrible is that? The fact is, he has a Father heart and a Grandfather heart given to him directly from the Lord.

The man in church who wants to pick up your daughter may well be a really nice guy who likes kids and is great with them. He may have, like my friend, been given a Father’s heart, but is not yet a Father, or his children may have grown older and moved away. Affection like this is needed in society.

I am not advocating that you plonk your child on the nearest stranger on the bus, just that you open your eyes to what God may be up to in others.

There are those who are really gifted, loving and safe people of God who happen to be older and male. They need to be given permission to model safe, caring, affectionate relationships with our children as surrogate Grandparents in the Lord. Without such people in my life (I can list about 30 over the years) I would not be who I am.

I actively encourage the role of such people in our children’s lives. But I am far from stupid about it. As someone who was abused as a child, I don’t live in cloud cuckoo land. I know there are predatory people out there and I can spot them a mile off. But the vast majority of people who are interested in my kids are longing to serve us and be trusted to do so. So I let them. With joy.