A little goes a long way
She sat by herself looking as though she was about to cry. Her son continued to mouth off at her and tell her how much he despised her. I heard him say four times, “I hate you! I wish you weren’t my Mum. You are a rubbish mum.”
She did not react or retaliate. She waited until he had calmed down and then asked him to apologise and hug her. He told her what to do with her hug and her apology. So she retreated and waited some more. Eventually, he sidled up to her and asked her to hold him.
I watched all of this from the other side of the play area at the farm we were visiting. Later on I took the opportunity to sit down with this lady and tell her what an amazing woman she was.
“Why?” she said, genuinely amazed that I was commenting on her embarrassingly loud misbehaving child.
“Because you are doing everything right. You are not rewarding his bad behaviour or making it worse. You are patiently waiting until it is over before allowing your son to make good choices again. I think you are brilliant!”
I think she was a bit surprised! So was I! It was a bit impertinent of me really. But I sensed something of God in it so said what was on my heart.
Ryan was on the autistic spectrum and also had anger management issues. That much was plain. His mother was on the “I’m on the edge” spectrum and also had self-image issues. That much was plain too. She was teary as I spoke to her but clearly very grateful I had bothered.
I saw her later in the day and she waved at me cheerfully. I honestly felt as though something I said had buried itself into her spirit and secured itself somewhere. I pray so. Little things can mean a lot.
This morning I was writing a list of all the things I need to buy today in preparation for the Royal Wedding event we are helping to organise at church. I asked Jon if we had any blutac. Tom overheard and interrupted. “My teacher has a whole pavement of gluetac Mummy!’ he said, enthusiastically. “You could ask her for some.”
The thought of a whole pavement full of GLUEtac (surely a much better name?) made me smile. I actually only need a teensy bit.
Whenever I prepare a large event, I always need tiny things to make the finishing touches work. Flowers for the toilets. Bluetac for signs. Confetti for tables. You know the sort of thing? Just little things that make people smile and feel cared for. A little can go a long way.
I want you to think about something recently that was said to encourage you. My guess is that it wasn’t a thesis, or even a paragraph. It may have been something little, said in passing; two or three words…
“Job well done, Amazing! Thank you; You’re a star! Aren’t you lovely?…” but it will have lodged in your brain or your spirit and made you feel loved, appreciated and cared for.
A little goes a long way.
This week as part of a text to us someone said “You guys are inspirational!” It meant heaps to me.
There is an art in both giving and receiving compliments. If someone tells you your hair looks nice, say “Thank you – that’s sweet of you.” Not “Really?I think it needs a cut!” Don’t undermine their opinion. Accept it and enjoy it!
Giving compliments to others is easy. Just look closely! See what they might be thinking or doing that God likes and just speak out what you think is great.
Make it your business to find someone today who needs a little bit of your time and attention and notice them. Be kinder than you need to be. Everyone is fighting some kind of battle.
A little goes a long, long way!