My children can be horrid. They can say very pointed things. But then the Bible describes them as arrows, so I guess its not surprising.
Psalm 127: 4 says:
“Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are…children.”

Read this verse again. It is strange. What does it mean?
Perhaps it is about how our children are meant to fight to make the world a better place? But it is more than this. As parents, we are like warrior archers.

I feel far from warrior-esque today, but as an archer it’s my job to:
1) Protect my arrows in the quiver of our home. After the assassination of her husband, Jacqueline Kennedy was asked if she planned to run for political office. ‘No,’ she replied, ‘my major effort must be devoted to my children. If they turn out badly, nothing I could do in the public eye would have any meaning.’ Our children our an advert for us. They show the world what we are really like. Scary thought huh? Perhaps whilst they grow we need to sacrifice what we would like to fill our calendars with in order to give them our best years?

Our children are growing up in a generation where they can get drugs, buy weapons, meet a predator, engage in virtual sex, and do it all without leaving their homes via the internet. We are meant to actively and intentionally protect our arrows. ‘A child left to himself brings shame to his [parents]…Correct your son, and…he will give delight to your soul’ (Proverbs 29:15-17 NKJV).

But I don’t want my children to see me as judgmental and joyless! I want them to have a huge amount of fun with me. Nothing delights me more than when my kids say, “Mummy! You are so silly!” As long we have fun as a family, I think they will listen to me too.

I am trying, with Jon, to build a home in which they can ask questions openly, get answers and form lifelong values. (Mummy why is your tummy still fat when it doesn’t have a baby in it? Mummy why did God let a Tsunami kill lots of people?”) The word ‘warrior’ means we must fight FOR them and tackle issues with them, however personal, painful or downright pernicious! We want our arrows to be pointed and sharp so that when they reach the target, they penetrate it.

2) Aim them in the right direction. Arrows are meant to be fired! The Bible says ‘Train up a child in the way he should go…’ (Proverbs 22:6). That means more than simply pointing them the right way and going off to pursue your own career. Training means helping them when they fail. It means being there to give them grace when they let us down. We must try not to overprotect them or choke their creativity. No Namby pamby kid ever changed the world! I don’t come running every time one of my children cries. Sometimes I let them work out their own problems. I also teach them simple things to help them take care of themselves. The boys can all load and unload a dishwasher, run a bath, put the washing machine on, make a simple meal, clean and tidy their bedrooms, fetch things for their sister and for others. They get stars on the chart for thinking of other people.

One of my pals at Uni was an Etonian. A lovely guy but from a very privileged background. He had servants all his life and did not know one end of a washing machine from another. On the early hours of one morning he knocked on my door at University and begged for help. He had emptied an entire packet of soap powder into one of the machines and it had frothed over the whole laundry room. He had tried to clean it up with water, only to discover that more soap suds were made. I vowed that day that if ever I had kids, they would know how to do simple things like that.

3) Release them. All arrows need to be sent away from the quiver – on purpose. It can be difficult letting go, whether that means to a playgroup, or a university. But it’s easier when you know you’ve taught them the truth, they’re covered by prayer, and all constantly under God’s protection.

You may not have realised that you are a warrior for your children before. So realise it today and seek God’s wisdom for how to treat each of the arrows He has given you.

Alan Sugar isn’t the only one that gets to fire people. You do too.